Failing in the open: Allyship attempts

Guest blog for UPFRONT — the amazing community changing confidence for women and nonbinary folk

Why I do what I do

The reason I write blogs is so that others do not need to make the mistakes I do. They can learn from them and make a fresh attempt building on my repeat failures to get things right. The issue where I find failing in the open most anxiety provoking is anti-racism work.

This is because of the two entirely contradictory core beliefs that underpin it:

1. Lived experience is the foundation of any and every important change we need in society
2. I have no lived experience of racism and should be focused on listening

There is no anti-racist work that needs white people in “saviour” mode. So why on earth am I writing this blog?

The difficult truth is that in my sector — essential services policy — we have a very long journey ahead in terms of representation. I still attend events and join discussions where every face is white and I am the only woman. Many disabilities are of course invisible but I’m certainly one a few people “out” in the workplace — staggering around on my walking stick and wincing at loud noises and bright lights. I spend the majority of my time in spaces where this discussion is not being had. So what can I do, without lived experience of racism, to build an anti-racist sector?

The short answer is that I can be an ally. But what this means, practically, is an ever changing, complex set of actions. As I write this blog, I have just received “The Good Ally” by Nova Reid. The clocks are about to change and I’ll be using the extra hour to dive in and adjust course. But for now, if allyship is an area you are committed to, here are a long list of my failures for you to learn from and a shorter list of whats worked so far!

My recent failures

There are too many failures to list here! But here are the recent ones and what I’ve learned from them:

-Building a diverse network of researchers focused on anti racism — an informal network exists. It is currently all white women.

-Respond to the first opportunity of a regulator in Great Britain opening the discussion of the practical changes needed to embed an interaction between regulatory policy and inclusion — my draft response languishes in my saved documents. A combination the timing of a period of my ill health and an abrupt change of focus in my team means it will never see the light of day.

-Produce a first attempt at a research “best practice” guide for extended anti-racism into energy research. First draft response was crickets.

-Starting a conversation on linkedin on the ways one of my core policy areas — vulnerability — and inclusion work. Unless talking to yourself counts as a conversation… I have failed so far!

-Deliver a high profile event to showcase research approach — not only was the event canned but I have yet to plan a replacement.

-Connect funders to people who can deliver a research archive of interviews with lived-experience experts — an idea with universal support but no one who is ready to back it financially.

-Commissioned research using the frame of “BAME” an old demographic descriptor that reduces the experiences of many diverse groups into one category.

What can I learn from these failures? An important commonality is that it draws on my existing network and ways of working. These are incredibly limited because my sector is not, yet, diverse. Further, diversity and inclusion is seen as a separate concern to the core deliverables of policy decisions — its rarely high enough a priority in terms of practical delivery. What this means for me is to make more time making connections across different industries and focus more attention on doing what I can in terms of recruitment and retention.

Building scaffolding

Where I’ve had positive feedback is my focus on building inclusion scaffolding. Scaffolding is the temporary bars and shaky wooden walkways that are put up so that a building can be renovated or built. Focusing on building a rickety initial space for others, who do have lived experience of racism to thrive has led to:

-The launch of a speakers list in the energy sector to increase representation of ethnic minority groups at events.

-The first publication by the energy regulator of consumer outcomes using disaggregated ethnicity data (moving away from “BAME”).

-Funding for a post specifically focused on research regarding energy and racial injustice at one of the world’s leading universities.

-Creating two informal networks focused on inclusion and connecting them to the formal governance of decision making at my organization.

-Securing commitment to launch a formal network of professionals on ways of working that center lived experience.

So what do these things have in common? Well they needed a great deal of time to do the practical, admin heavy, work of making the case for something to happen. Once it’s happening stepping back and listening, adapting when needed. They are also impossible to do alone — I need to keep telling myself again and again that networking will be at the heart of any work I can do to move towards an anti-racist essential services sector. A big part of that will be to keep writing and keep talking about it — so I’m committing here to carry on turning up to listen and do what I can.

What can you do?

If you want to be an ally, what can you do? I would recommend three steps:

• Use a tool like the one below to reflect on your sources of privilege. I share the one below from Sylvia Duckworth wherever I can.
• Set aside explicit time in your week to listen, seeking out experts in lived experience online to engage with and share their content. This does not include bombarding people with questions and expecting free consultancy!
• Consider the scaffolding you could build to be an ally in your sector or organisation, making sure to focus on stepping aside as quickly as possible for those with lived experience.

You can find the original blog over UPFRONT here